And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
