is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
