i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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