you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't deserve a penis
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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