chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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