Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
