I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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