Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize