Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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