Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
