Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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