somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
