why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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