I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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