we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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