I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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