Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did we literally take a cab across the street
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
