There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize