who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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