I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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