thus making me awesome and them whores
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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