too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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