Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am available for nakedness
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
