I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
