My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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