Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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