I don't think brook has ever known best
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
