id be glad to
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
