I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
