I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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