Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
