Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
