we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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