What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You pole danced in your parka.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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