I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
