my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
