P.S. I can't hear my feet
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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