Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
