you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
