Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
