Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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