i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
