I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
