You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
