it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
