i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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