Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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