Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
