Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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