i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
