which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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