This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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